Once upon a time when the world was very new and I did not know my name, I was playing "Follow my leader" along the road. If the leader turned left then I turned left too. It was good fun because I had nothing to worry about and I knew that as long as I followed the leader everything would work out fine and we would all find our way home.
Then when I got bigger I was able to find my way home all by myself, because I remembered which way the leader went and I went that way every time.
But a feeling grew inside me that I wanted to try new roads. I asked the leader about that and he taught me the rules. "If you turn right, that is the wrong way and you will get covered with shame dust. If you turn left that is the right way and you will stay clean."
So I went along the road alone and did was I was told and always turned left. Very soon I was back where I started. I thought about that for a long time and decided to turn right and see what happened to me.
I turned right, went a little way along the road but I was worried and came back very soon. I told the leader: " I turned right and the road looked exactly the same kind of road as the other way but this time it seemed to be going somewhere exciting and different; tell me: why is that the wrong way to go?"
The leader became angry with me because I had broken the rule and showered me with yellow shame dust because I had questioned his authority. I was ignored by the others because I was bright yellow with shame dust. I was told I must never break the rule again. So I spent my days walking in circles with all the others. I was told that if I said I was sorry for breaking the rule then I would be clean again. I said sorry and I was washed clean again. The leader was very pleased with my walking in circles and praised me for being so obedient to the rule.
But secretly I became so bored with the circle road! I wanted so much to explore and examine all the other byways!
Eventually I knew I must leave the circle road if I was going to live my life to the full. I did not care about the shame dust. I became angry with the leader, because a good leader ought to think more about people and their needs to explore.
"I hate the leader!" I said. "I will do what I think is right! If I am mistaken then so be it. It's my life. I will go to the right. I will." And I did.
"Come back!" shouted the leader. "You have broken the rule and the punishment is to be ignored and have no name and no identity."
They dragged me back and threw me into a vat of shame dust. They made me walk the circle road alone. I had no name and no identity. I was very angry with people for treating me this way. I had only tried to explore a bit of the world: it's such a wonderful world with so much to see and do! I hated them all and plotted and planned for the day when I would be free. I knew that the rule was stupid and I only wanted to explore. I knew that asking for forgiveness would remove the yellow but I could not apologise when there was no wrong-doing. So I stayed yellow.
Then one day when the trees on the right of the road were covered in spring green, the hills were beckoning me to come to them and I could hear the call of the birds, I turned my steps to the right and ran and ran until I could no longer hear the people calling me.
I had no name and no identity but I had my freedom.
It was a straight road and a good one and it seemed to be going somewhere. As I walked I decided on a name for myself: "Yellow walker". I sang a little and decided on an identity: I am The Yellow Person who Walks Straight", I decided. Life was good: at last I had a path, an identity and a name.
Then I came to a place where there were other yellow walkers. They walked straight like me and I joined them.
"I am Yellow Walker", I said. They seemed to find that acceptable.
"I am the Person Who Walks Straight," I said to another walker.
"So am I", came the reply, as if that was the usual way to be.
I was among friends. We walked side by side for some time. I forgot about how yellow I was. Then one day a path opened up to the left, with a wonderful stream beside it and kingfishers darting. I turned to explore this wonderful path.
"We must all walk straight!" they all cried. "We must not turn left! We must walk straight!
They dragged me back onto the straight road.
"We have a rule," said the leader. "We must walk straight always and turn neither to the right nor to the left. We must look forwards always and never stray from the path. That is the right way. For your punishment you will be washed clean of every trace of yellow. You will be ignored."
I was washed clean of all the yellow and no one spoke to me. I walked on. Here was another set of rules but as before I badly needed to break them!
One evening when the dusk was falling I set off quietly down a little path to the right where a little waterfall trickled over the rocks and butterflies darted among the flowers. It was enchanting and wonderful and I was enjoying the walk, when suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder.
"I am a policemen," said a voice. "You are a criminal because you are not yellow and also you have broken a rule. You will lose your name and your identity and you will go to prison."
So they threw me into prison and I was no longer Yellow Walker. I had lost my name and my identity.
I languished in prison for some time and became every angry indeed, because all I had ever wanted to do with my life was explore the beautiful world. Their stupid rule didn't allow this.
While I was in prison I had plenty of time to think.
I thought: "I am a prisoner because I choose freedom. Therefore my new name is "Freedom Chooser". I am a prisoner because I love to explore new byways and see all the beauty of the world. Therefore my new identity will be The One Who Loves The World.
Soon it was time to be free and I walked out. I spoke to my jailers and said: "You can keep me in prison and take away my name and my identity, but now I know my own name and my own identity and no one can take that away from me."
"I am Freedom Chooser", I said. "I am the one who loves the world."
|
