I am a womb twin survivor.

It's taken me years to admit this to myself.

She's the buddy I always wanted to back me up.

The mentor I sought out.

The brainstorming partner I always looked to bounce ideas off.

The person who just 'got me'.

The one I didn't have to explain anything to because we were in synch.

The one who understood my inner tick-tock because she was there too.

My best friend, my soul mate.

She was also the fire I ran away from if someone got too close, and hers is the warmth I craved when I felt lonely and lost.

Because we were co-joined I always felt a part of me was missing.

She was there in my struggle to conceive my own child,

And finally in the loss of my own womb.

I said goodbye to her in my painting

which I took with me into hospital.

Everyone saw that spark, that connection we had in that painting.

It's now fitting that my own mother has that painting on her wall - it was her loss too.

It's been hard to put my voice 'out there' without the comfort of her cheering me on.

But I have finally accepted the connection I have with myself as real,

Conceived my own life,

Am grateful for my gifts

The pen I can pick up, the stories I write, the paintings I paint

And letting her go, out loud and on this page means

I am at peace.

Amanda