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This is how it feels inside to be a wombtwin survivor who has no idea why they feel as they do. I need to die. I'm such a bad friend, a bad person, I hate myself! I could barely stand going out in public on Sunday, because I came to realize how absolutely ugly I am. Poor mirrors, poor people who have to look at me. I'm so stupid and confused. My eyes never stop tearing. I have no chance. I'm a horrible friend, horrible. I don't deserve friends, the wonderful people who include me in stuff must be reincarnations of Gandhi to have to put up with ugly, horrible, freakish me. There are people there, but am I distancing myself from them? Why am I this way, why am I so sad all the time? I have a happy mask, but lately it's been broken, beyond repair, will I ever get it back? I told my friend part of what was wrong. Am I hallucinating? Am I right? Who's going to be there to answer all these stupid questions I'm asking myself?! I feel alone even among friends. I feel like I'm perpetually on the verge of tears. Loneliness and tears can make a person feel in ways they don't normally. I usually try to be a happy person but lately... Oh well, I should just shut up, there are people with far worse problems than mine. This was written by someone who posted their thoughts on the Internet, but it speaks for many wombtwin survivors and it seems that this person is a wombtwin survivor. I am trying to find this person so I can offer some help. If this is how you feel, then begin today your pathway to realisation and healing. | ||||
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