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Womb twin survivors: the Lost twin in the Dream of the Womb [details]

Introduction

Many years ago, at the start of this century in fact, I came to the astonishing conclusion that I once had a twin, but my twin died before I was born. Almost at once, I began to research this phenomenon. I quickly came across the concept of the “vanishing” twin and discovered that this was more common than I could ever have realized. I named the survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy “womb twin” survivors. As I made my own pathway towards healing, I embarked on a journey of discovery that has lasted until this day and will no doubt continue.

I now know that on average, just one percent of births in the world are twin births. Research has revealed that for every pair of twins born there are at least ten singleton babies born whose twin died in the womb, their “womb twin”. So we now know that there are more than 600 million womb twin survivors in the world but until recently we could not identify them.

It is astonishing that society has somehow managed not to notice or correctly identify such an enormous group of millions of people. This is probably because until the 1980s the loss of a twin in the womb was not fully recognized or acknowledged. People can hardly be expected to pay any heed to the needs of the sole survivors if the lost twins remain hidden from view.

Research using ultrasound scans has repeatedly shown us how many twins are lost in the first few weeks of life. These are called

“vanishing twins” but they don’t really vanish - they die. Their tiny bodies may be miscarried, disintegrate or gradually fade away, leaving tiny traces that an expert may be able to identify but that many people would not even notice.

Since that amazing day when I realized that I am a womb twin survivor, I have been looking for the others. One by one, womb twin survivors have come to me by means of my web site.a With their help, I have learned how to identify them and help them heal. I know that womb twin survivors have a need to understand why they feel as they do. In order to help them, I intend to bring these little lost twins out of the darkness and into the light. This book is their story, and it may be yours, too.

If you are a womb twin survivor in need of support and help, be reassured that I will be there at every turn of the page, with words of wisdom and encouragement for you. But never forget that you have your own reserves of wisdom and strength - you will realize this more and more as we make our journey together.

We will begin by exploring the big idea of human reproduction and seemingly trivial events of vital importance. We will discover together the amazing theory that underlies this work. We will learn the intricacies of twinning – an extraordinary but common anomaly of human reproduction, which has far-reaching consequences for the survivor when a co-twin dies. We will uncover the implications of zygosity and the different physical consequences of losing your twin at different stages of development.

Fully informed about the biological facts underlying the loss of a twin (or more) before or around birth, we will then consider the psychological effect of such a personal loss on the sole survivor. We will examine closely the prebirth experiences that lie in your Dream of the Womb. We will take a look at the science of prenatal psychology, which lies on the fringes of general psychology but at the very heart of this book.

Next, we will carefully scrutinize what was learned during my seven-year Womb Twin Research Project, which I carried out privately with the help of many hundreds of womb twin survivors. Every question from the research questionnaire will be analyzed and explained. On almost every page you will hear the voices of womb twin survivors from all over the world, telling a story rarely told in public. There is plenty of room for interested observers who are not womb twin survivors but with important questions to ask. I will scatter some of those questions and their answers along the way. By the end of this stage you will hopefully have a clearer idea of what it means to be a womb twin survivor.

The final stage sets out a pathway to healing. For the maximum benefit you will need to spend time thinking and wondering about facets of yourself that you may never have considered before: the sensitive, vulnerable and fragile side of yourself that perhaps you don’t let many other people see. This is an introduction to a step-by-step progress through five stages of healing, which may take you three years or three weeks to do, depending on your level of engagement and desperation.

You will end up with a new way of seeing the world. The rewards will make all the difficulty and pain worthwhile. The inspirational stories will give you hope as you make your own journey to autonomy as a womb twin survivor who has awakened from the Dream of the Womb. That will be your healing.

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Reviews:

Building on her unique anthology, Untwinned (2007), a breakthrough in the English language, Althea Hayton now adds this authoritative clinical work on Womb Twin Survivors. Trust this clear and captivating author, passionate scholar and organizer of research to guide you in exploring this illuminating corner of prenatal psychology.

David B. Chamberlain, Ph.D author, The Mind of Your Newborn Baby, now in 14 translations.

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